Belly Photos at 32 Weeks.

 So I am officially done shooting weddings for the year!  It is crazy how fast it went by, and I am so happy that pregnancy really didn't interfere with my shooting schedule.  When we first found out I was pregnant, my initial reaction was shock. (even though we were trying it is hard not to be shocked when you see that extra line on the pee stick)  I then was a little panicked and immediately started trying to figure out how far along I would be on September 1st.  That was the latest wedding I already had booked, and even though I had already done the math before because I knew we couldn't start trying until February so that I could still shoot my weddings, I still needed to double check. (I'm a bit of a planner)  Well I determined that September 1st really shouldn't be a problem, and that I could probably do the one on September 8th that I had been discussing with a bride a few weeks prior.  I did however make that my last wedding, and although it was hard to turn other couples down for later dates, I feel as though I made the best choice for myself and my business.  Now I have some time to get completely caught up on editing and my other shoots before the baby gets here. (hopefully)  I have been swimming in editing this week, and so I decided to take a little break to get my baby belly photos posted.  

These were taken a couple weeks ago when I was 32 weeks.  My sister was in town to help me shoot a wedding, and I talked her into snapping a few photos.  I like having Carley take my photos for me.  I can still be in control of the shoot, and be as bossy as I want, and she gets it.  She is good with my camera, and she naturally has a good eye.  I thought about having these taken professionally, but it was going to be hard to find time for Kevin and I to do it, and I am honestly too much of a control freak.  I had some very specific ideas, and I wanted a mix of couple shots, as well as some more intimate belly shots.  That isn't to say that I don't have the same nerves about having my photo taken as everyone else does.  

I realize that I post photos of myself and family regularly, but that doesn't mean it is easy.  I made a decision a long time ago about what I wanted my blog to be.  I found that the blogs that I most enjoyed following were ones that had a mix of photography as well as the photographer's personal life.  I liked getting to know the photographer through their personal stories, and I loved the photo inspiration as well.  Since I really enjoy writing, I wanted to make this blog a mix of personal and professional.  I am comfortable sharing through writing, my husband is not such a sharer, and he would probably not post the majority of the personal stuff that I do, so I do need to remember to be mindful of his privacy.  There are also things you will probably not see me post about.  I am not comfortable posting photos of my bare belly, and even some of these photos might be more revealing than I am comfortable with, but as of right this second, it seems like a good idea.  Since I am human, and I have the same reactions as a lot of people to photos of themselves, I thought it would be fun to post some of my feelings about these photos.  A little inside to what goes through my head when I edit photos of myself.  Here goes....

I actually like this photo of myself, I'm doing that sideways glance thing again, but my face doesn't look swollen.  (I am using the word swollen because I have convinced myself that my face has not gotten fat from pregnancy, it has just swelled up a bit-pulling my hair back makes my face look less swollen)

I almost discarded this photo because it was quite a bit overexposed, but now it is one of my favorites.  It just needed a little extra love.

This is my favorite of the session.  I always like photos where we are looking at each other.  I do not however like my profile, but we look happy and that's the way it is in real life....ha ha yes this is exactly how we look when we are sitting on the couch and I am in my ugly prego sweats eating ice cream with my unwashed hair on top of my head.  (that was last night-but I was definitely happy)

What the heck (not the word that went through my head) is this....I hate this traditional prego pose.  Yes please put me in front to showcase how massive I am compared to my husband.  Should have had your hair back the whole time.  Even my knees look chubby, lets just put the watermark over them so no one notices.  

 How sweet and romantic...just like real life again.  Not bad hopefully no one notices that you can see up my dress.  Whatever its not like a room full of people wont be getting the full view soon enough.

Probably my favorite one of just me.  No cheese grin, arm looks good, and hair is back.  

 As we were setting up for this photo, I knew that I would like it better in black and white, and I do.  I love black and white photos, and some lighting situations are just perfect for b&w.

 These next three photos are basically the same pose but in different outfits and lighting situations.  This was a photo I HAD to have taken to document my growing belly so we did it a few times, and I really like them.  Maybe because you can't see my swollen face.  All three are very different, and I honestly don't know which I like best.  I am probably most comfortable showing this first one because I have the most clothing on, and the lighting and colors are nice.

Yes, I have another one of these in perfect focus, but I don't like it as well.  Plus, there was no way it was going to be shared.  I am wearing my wedding lingerie.  It is a baby doll nighty, and it opens in the front so it worked nicely for my prego body.  We did a few in this outfit just at my house, and I am so glad to have them to look back on.  I love that this photo has a painterly quality to it, and the soft lighting and curves make for a nice belly photo.

 I love this image in contrasty black and white.  I like the curves and angles in this photo.  I would probably say that I love this photo if it wasn't me in it.  At first I cropped out my butt, but the curve adds to the photo.  My head however did get cropped out.  Since my face it turned to the camera and away from the light source (window) my eyes look a little dead.  They aren't catching any light, and they look like dark holes.  

I like the lighting, and I don't hate my serious face.  Window lighting really is flattering.

Hello pregnancy breasts.  My belly looks decent.  Keeper.

Penny completely photo bombed this one.  This was when we first started the bed photos.  She was napping on our bed, and as soon as I laid down, she hopped onto my belly.  Seriously if we had tried to get her to lay like that, it wouldn't have happened.  It was all her.  I am thankful to have this image as Penny has been such an important part of our family.  I can't wait to see her with the baby, and even though I think she might be a little jealous at first, I know she will ultimately come to love and be very protective our new family member. 

Obviously I think it is important to document major milestones in life or else I wouldn't do what I do.  I absolutely value photos, the story they tell, and the memories they preserve.  Do I like every photo I am in-absolutely not, but I do like having them to look back on.  There will be a point in my life when pregnancy is a very distant memory, and I will want to remember how I looked, and hopefully these images will also bring back some of my feelings about pregnancy.  There are days when I find my pregnancy curves very womanly, and I am in complete awe of my changing body.  Other days, I am quite disgusted with my swollen body, but it is still so worth documenting.  It has been an incredible journey for us so far, filled with ups and downs, and nothing in this world will ever compare to feeling my baby move inside my expanding belly.  I will never forget my husband's face at our first ultrasound when he saw our baby for the first time.  There have been so many firsts, and that will only continue after baby is born.   I have a lot of fears about motherhood, but a big part of me knows that I was put on this earth to be a mother.  So even if I am not crazy about every single one of my maternity photos, I am thankful to have them, and thankful for the visual memory they will give me. 

My First Mother's Day

So yesterday I celebrated my first mother's day!  I am not sure if you technically get to celebrate mother's day if you are pregnant, but why not?  My sister was in town, and she and her fiance got me flowers, and a maple bar which I was craving.  It was so thoughtful of them!  My hubby got me a gift certificate to go get a massage which was such a nice surprise and so sweet of him.  He knows I love massages, but I rarely get them because I hate spending money on them.  He really does spoil me, and I feel so lucky to have him.  

It seems as though the decision for us to have a baby was easy.  Kevin has never been one to plan according to when we should do something.  He told me very early in our marriage that we would start a family when it "felt" right.  I like to plan everything so the whole wait until it feels right thing was tricky for me.  I knew I wanted to be married for a couple years before we had a baby, and he agreed.  We have been talking about having children since before we were married.  We have always seemed to be on the same page, and when we decided to start trying it was because it was something we both wanted.  It did happen to fall in line with my plan, but that was pretty much coincidence.  Now that this baby is on the way, it is beginning to hit us that yes we are going to have a baby, but that also means we are going to be parents.  I am sure this thought had crossed my mind before I got pregnant, but why is it now so terrifying?  

I don't like to say that pregnancy has made me emotional, because that could mean a number of things.  In truth, pregnancy has made me even more weepy than normal.  I have always been one to get teary during sad movies, or books or even during t.v. shows.  I can't hardly see another person I love cry, without too crying.  Pregnancy however has made me ten times worse.   I began watching Marley, and me one night, and had to change it after the first 5 minutes.  Honestly, what was I thinking?  Grown men can't even handle that movie.   I can't even talk about bullying without having a mini breakdown let alone watch a dateline special on it.  I guess now that I know I am going to be a mother, and I have to start figuring out how exactly to do that without permanently damaging my kids, I get more weepy hearing about parenting issues.  How do I teach my kids to be kind even if its not the popular thing to do?  How do I teach them to stand up for themselves, and not let another person determine their self worth?  How do I let them make their own choices even when I know that choice is going to hurt them?  How am I supposed to be a good role model, when there are still things I haven't figured out about being the best person I can be?  How can I teach them not to end an sentence with a preposition when I do it all the time?  

Luckily for Kevin and I our parents are wonderful role models.  There is not a doubt in my mind that Kevin will be a wonderful father.  He has a big heart, and is very patient.  He is hard working, and he does not sweat the small stuff which is something that is sometimes so hard for me.  He seems to have a better grasp on what will make me feel better than I do sometimes when I am having a pregnancy melt down.  When I am being unreasonable, he is understanding, and when I am being really unreasonable, he can calmly explain to me why.  We complement each other in a lot of ways, and I am hoping that works out for us in terms of parenting as well.  I am sure we will stumble along the way, and I know there will be ups and downs, but we have each other and a wonderful support system in our family.   There is so little in this life we can control, but at least I get to choose what type of mother I want to be.  I can't control every situation, but I can control my reaction to it.  I can choose love, acceptance and understanding, and hopefully the rest I will learn as I go.  

Below are some photos of some of the beautiful mothers I had the honor of capturing over the past year.  I am lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful role models in my personal life, and professional life.  

And a photo of myself, my mother, and my sister.  There isn't a thing she wouldn't do for us, and her friendship has been one of the greatest gifts she could have ever given to me.  She has taught me that there is more to parenting than just being a parent, and my relationship with her is something I value more now that I too am becoming a mother.  

A post about Baby Bird.

Although we made it facebook official a few weeks ago, we have not made it Whitney Lin Photography blog official-We are expecting a little one at the end of October!

I like sharing my personal life on my blog.  I want clients to get to know me before they book me, and I love when clients keep up with my work and life after their weddings and sessions.  It is part of why a keep a blog.  However, I have kept pretty quiet about this pregnancy in social media, mainly out of respect for our new little family, and although I hate admitting it, a tad out of worry.  I have loved sharing this with Kevin, and before it was shared with anyone it was just him, myself,  and a positive pregnancy test.  It was tears of joy, (my tears) and hugs and kisses.  It was Valentine's day, and it was by far the best Valentine's day I have ever had.  I was even a little shocked.  Yes, this pregnancy was very planned.  I did my research, I bought an iphone app, I checked and re-checked dates, and possible due dates before we even started trying.  I was trying to plan around wedding season, and although I heard numerous times from different people (my mother) that these things can't be planned, I was actually right on this one.  I assumed it would take a little more time, Kevin did not.  He told me from the beginning that he thought it would happen right away, and his confidence freaked me out a little, but as it turned out he was right.  I can not express how blessed, and actually lucky I feel that we pulled this off.  I know it can be incredibly hard to get pregnant, and my prayers go out to couples that do have difficulty.  It actually makes me feel a little bad to talk about getting pregnant fast, which is why I haven't, but I am so so grateful, and I want to share our story and my crazy pregnancy ramblings.  SO I am going to.

 I had purposely stopped scheduling weddings after September 8th, just in case, and it was a good thing I did.  Yes, I might have been able to do one more, but it just isn't worth the risk.  I did some research on shooting weddings pregnant.  Yes, that info. is out there.  Mainly, I read other people's personal experience and decided what I thought was best for us.  Don't take on anymore weddings than I already had booked, and don't do any past September 8th.  That would give me a month and half before my due date to catch up on editing.  I will probably shoot seniors, and families after that time, but my availability will be limited.  I also have help lined up for my later weddings so that my clients do not feel nervous about my pregnancy.  I have wonderful clients, and they have all been so wonderfully understanding.  I would never shoot a wedding I didn't think I could handle, and they seem to understand that.  

So...since this post is supposed to be more about my pregnancy ramblings...here goes.  I get asked a lot of the same questions .  They are the polite type of questions, most of them anyway, and since they come up a lot-I will answer them here too.

My due date is October 27th.  I would love a 10-11-12 baby, but I am guessing baby bird will arrive in early November.  

Yes, we will find out what we are having.  I am 16 weeks tomorrow so we will find out in about a month.  I can not wait.  Do I have a feeling about what we are having?-yes, but out of fear of being wrong, I am staying quiet on that.  

I am feeling really good.  I had morning sickness during my first trimester, and was sick a lot.  Kevin was forbidden to cook anything.  He tried three times, and all three times I was puking.  The smell was just too much.  We ate out a lot.  I haven't been sleeping very good, but at least the nausea is gone.  I do have some aches and pains, but that is just normal stretching.

No, I haven't felt the baby move yet.  Not even flutters.  Hopefully that happens soon!

Yes, we have talked about names.  Nothing definite, and I doubt we name our baby before he/she is born, but if we do, my lips will be sealed on that one.  

I am not sure how Penny will react to the new baby.  I am guessing she will not be too crazy about him/her at first.  But, as she figures out baby isn't going anywhere, I am hoping she will become protective.  Someday, I am hoping they will be best buddies!

I do get asked a lot if I am showing yet, and yes I am.   A lot of people have told me that I'll be all baby, or just have a bump, and I am hear to say that that is not going to be the case.  I can already see changes in other areas, and although it is nice to hear, it actually just makes me feel anxious because I don't think that will be the case, and then the people pleaser in me will feel like I am letting people down.  It is silly I know, but I'm a realist, and although I don't want people telling me that I am going to be huge, I would rather them not expect me to be "all baby."  People have been awful about the size Jessica Simpson got, and although pregnancy is not the time for vanity, seeing the number on the scale steadily increase is a little scary.  I think I would just rather be told, pregnancy suits you.  That seems like a nice way of putting it.  Even if it doesn't, it is a safe thing to say to a pregnant woman.  When discussing my belly, and feeling wider yesterday, my hubby pointed out that "you're going to have to get wider to fit a me-size baby out of there."  My first reaction was horror at the thought of a "me-size" baby, but he is right.  It is just fact, and I love that about him.  I also like that he brings me back down to earth.

Another thing that I am getting used to is people staring directly at my stomach when they see me.  I am sure I do this to, so I get it, but it is still so weird that thats the first place people's eyes go.  Yes, there is a fetus the size of an orange in there.  Yes, it makes my tummy pouch out.  Please examine.  It is just funny, but we humans are a curious bunch.  

 Anyways below is the photo we used for our facebook announcement.  It was taken by my sister on easter and I was around 12 weeks pregnant I think.  Go ahead-check out my belly :)  

Penny was not supposed to be in these photos.  I assumed she would want to run around, but she sat by Kevin's feet and looked right at the camera as though we tried getting her to pose like that.

  Once again Penny just hopped on Kevin's lap and looked at the camera.  We Birds are a photogenic bunch, and you can bet baby will be trained from an early age.

So there you have it...Feel free to skip these pregnancy posts if you just like to check out the photos.  I won't mind.