For my son

by Whitney Bird in ,

  I realize that it has been far too long since I have blogged, but I really don't shoot much in December and January so I don't have any sneak peeks to share.  I also realize that I don't have to have a sneak peek in order to blog, and that for a while there, this blog was more than just client photos, but over the past year, it seems I have had less of an urge to blog about my personal life.  I suppose I could blame it on being too busy with actual work, and that is partly true.  2014 was an awesome year for this little business of mine, but mostly I just haven't had the desire to write.  It makes me quite sad because one of my goals with this blog was to document the life of my little family.   A place to write little details down that I don't want to forget about my son.  Laying down next to him last night in his little bed, I realized there is so much about him at this age that I am scared of forgetting.  I don't even think scared is the right word....more like belly ache panic that I might forget how he only wants to fall asleep at night if Kevin or I lay in bed with him.  Lay in his little crib/toddler bed that is too small for us, but we do it for him anyway.  I have a handful of posts about Paxson, and I have a ton of photos of him, but not enough words to help jog my memory as of late.  So this post is solely for me...and Paxson.

  My sweet and stubborn little boy.  You were a challenging little thing this morning as I dressed you for daycare.  I honestly believe you enjoy daycare, and am so thankful for that and that you have a safe place to go a couple days a week where you are loved, and well taken care, but you sure didn't make taking you easy on your mama today.  You ended up going without a coat on because getting socks on you was enough for me to surrender.  That's ok though...You're little fits and our battles remind me that you are your own being.  That you are definitely not a little mini version of your mom, or even your dad.  You are uniquely you.  SO much more independent than I was as a child.  I was always so terribly shy, and I would worry so much I'd give myself a belly ache.  That is not you.  Shy-maybe a little.  It is a different kind of shy though.  You love to explore, and sometimes take off without worry of where your dad or mom are.  Being outside is your favorite place and the cold really does not bother you.  It is always your dad or I that has to force you inside.  It is never your idea to come in.  These cold winter months are hard on you and I think you go a little stir crazy because you just can't be outside enough.  

  One of my favorite things about you is how affectionate you are.  You give me as many kisses as I want, and sometimes you plant one on me when I am not expecting it.  I know you would much rather sleep next to your dad and I, but you do pretty well in your own bed, that is after you fall asleep.  You love chicken nuggets and pancakes.  You are finally beginning to make some sense, and at this moment I think your favorite word is tickle.  Oh and ball.  You love shooting hoops.  It honestly amazes me that you have quite the shot and follow through for a 2 year old.  It seems you have inherited your dad's basketball skills and not your moms which is a good thing for you.  You still love to hold my ears which is a habit I wish you would drop only because you can be a bit rough. 

Your big blue eyes have softened in color and have a bit of green in them.  You seem tall to me, and we can never keep pants on your waist.  A few jumps on your mini trampoline and they are down around your ankles.  You won't let me comb your hair let alone let anyone cut it.  You always have messy hair.  You put up a fight about washing your hands, but love baths and showers.  You light up around your grandparents and I think both Kevin and I love seeing our parents in that role. 

  I love you Paxson.  I want so badly to remember that on pancake days, no matter how well we wash up, I will still be able to smell a hint of maple syrup on you.  I want to be better at writing things down so that when you are older we can laugh and giggle about the silly things you did and the sweet things you said.  I want to remember for me and for you all the little details so I will keep stalking you with my camera.  I will try to write more for you.  I will stop and commit things to memory when life is crazy, and we are busy.  That will be my new year's resolution this year, and probably every year. 

And now...some photos of my little man just as he is in January 2015.