Well it's official, Paxson is 1! I have a toddler crawling and cruising, (this is what his doctor calls holding onto furniture, walls, toys, and hands and walking) around the house. Every time I say toddler, I get a little sad or maybe just reminiscent. When Kevin and I decided to have children we constantly talked about having a baby. We'd say things like "ok let's start trying to have a baby" or "I'm ready for a baby" or "do you think it's time for a baby?" Obviously we knew (God willing) that that baby would grow up, but this step we were taking, this expanding of our family, was all about a baby. At least for me anyways. I think men wait patiently for that baby stage to be over because let's face it, the toddler stage is much more fun for dads. I however am having a bit of a tough time letting go of my baby. Obviously, I adore Paxson at this age. He is getting so dang smart, and he amazes me with the stuff he picks up on. He just figured out how to eject on the dvd player. He throws Penny's ball to her, and looks for her in her usual lounging spots. He also smacks her, holds her legs, and pulls her tail, but he loves her. To him, Penny sneezing is the funniest darn thing which is pretty funny now to me too. I love seeing him try something new, or seeing one of his new tricks, but I just can't believe how fast this past year has gone.
Yes, there are times when he still seems so little. Like when he is tired, and just wants to cuddle with me. Or when he crashes and needs his Mama to wipe his tears. But now, there are so many times when he seems like such a little boy. I assume all moms out there know that ache I'm talking about when you think about your baby growing up, but that is ache is usually followed with pride, and love for the little person that your baby is becoming. It is so amazing to watch your child grow. Yes, there are days when I literally think I am going to be the one to have a meltdown because Pax won't nap, or he throws his banana in my hair, or hears me tell him "No No" then shakes his head at me and does exactly what I told him not to over and over again. Being a mom is so challenging at times. It can be hard to know if your doing a good job, or if he is learning everything he needs to be learning, and there is worry over milestones, and social skills, and if he's eating enough and on and on, but it is the best gift in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
These photos were taken at the Buttelman Ranch when Paxson was 11 months. I actually got something done early for once. :)
I know, I know, this photo below is one only a mother could love, but it cracks me up when he makes that face.